Bored and work and here I am again putting my twisted, yet very rational thoughts down. I just finished alphabetizing an inventory of school supplies and archiving old files. Jesus Christ I hope I get into grad school next year or I might just die of a brain anurism caused by cerebral neglect.
Yesterday I witnessed a super awkward exchange between two people and it reminded me of how silly it feels when trying to sell yourself; specifically in an interview or in the dating world. This does not have anything to do with prostitution or the sex industry, don't get any ideas. I mean it IS a recession and these things tend to increase in numbers in hard times, but I do have some standards.
Of course, the awkward conversation I am referring to was in the dating world. Oh so painful to be on the outside looking in; knowing full and well that I have had many of those ridiculously- forced conversations so many times. Some of it isn't necessarily trying to sell yourself, but it's this strained "getting to know you" chat where people feel like they need to talk about their personality traits versus just having an easy and fluid conversation.
Basically what I observed/heard/okaaay, eavsdroppped on was a conversation that went something like this: Girl="I spent a bit of time in Spain and they don't eat until 11pm and everyone just stays up late, parties till 4 am, then roll in to work the next day like it's nothing." The response was Guy="Oh my god, I've never been but I would love to go to Spain; I mean, for the past two weeks that has basically been my life and I've just been doing great. Actually, I am so much more friendly when I am hungover." Girl="Yeah, there is so much fun stuff to do in Portland, I just really love this city." Guy="Yeah, I just love this city more and more each day and love the restaurants here, too. I especially love Mexican food like Por Que No." Girl="Really? No way, Por Que No is my absolute favorite!!" And on, and on, and on, and on.....
Christ on a cracker people; all this positivity and relativity makes me want to vomit all over my hipster cowboy boots. I would be really curious to see what would happen if people actually had honest conversations with each other. For instance when they Guy above said that he was "more friendly when hungover" (seriously dude, seriously?), I wish the girl would have really questioned this statement; would have really dug into why this guy is so happy when dehydrated and feeling like shit. His statement sounded like some "opposite-day" gamey bullshit to me. I mean, who really enjoys a hangover? That is why there are numerous things that have been invented to make it GO AWAY.
My point is that I feel like things could be so much cooler and interesting if people were just themselves, myself included. It's hard when you have been conditioned for years to smile and nod at crazy people when they are telling you absurd shit; I feel this is in order not to hurt their feelings or be the catalyst of their psychotic break. I personally don't want to get punched in the face and I strongly feel that this could have happened to me a million times if I said what was actually on my mind most of the time. To be honest or not? Hmm... it's a debate within myself yet to be determined....
Friday, August 14, 2009
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
I just don't know what to do with myself.
You know what is hilarious? Let me tell you; when people make accusations and/or assumptions that have no basis in reality. Unfortunately, this happens all the time! To the point where it becomes simply hilarious. Hilarious in the way that I am imagining taking sick pleasure in maniacally laughing while pulling out large chunks of my hair.
I will recognize and confirm that everyone lives in their own reality; I believe in post-modernism to an extent. However, I will also acknowledge that there are certain things that are simply true or false. For instance, "Little Johnny did slap his brother in the face" versus the alternative of "Little Johnny did NOT slap his little brother in the face." It either happened or it didn't. There is no arguing these kind of things (unless of course you are one of those special people that don't believe in Evolution which is a whole separate topic that would require a completely different blog entry). Anyhow, there is such a thing as absolute truth.
Here is an absolute truth for you: I do certain duties that are part of my job. I do what I have been instructed to do. I screw up sometimes. This is a fact. However, I do not purposely NOT do what I have been contracted to do. As a matter of fact, I have been running out of work to do because I feel like everything that I HAVE to do has been taken care of. I am bored, restless, and looking for things to do. Today I read about Nietzsche and then Greco-Roman pedastry for about an hour just because I had nothing else to do. Right now, I am writing this blog. I don't really have time to blog. Except for at work. Where I should be working.
So just a little while ago, I expressed to one of my coworkers that I was bored at work only to find out that there have been some accusations that Naomi is simply not doing her job. Accusations that I feel are not at all based in reality. If Naomi is bored out of her mind, how can she not be doing her work? If Naomi is constantly volunteering to do random things for the team, would she have an overwhelming workload? You are probably thinking; I could be doing everything except what I have to do. This is true, I could be doing this. However, considering I am already under the microscope in a big way, I am not going to purposely screw up by not doing what I need to do to retain employment/money/life/survival.
So, this brings me back to people that live in a world of their own making. This is okay. It's quite alright to live in a world where you adore peanut butter cookies, enjoy showing copious amounts of cleavage, love your pet gerbil, and are not a big fan of me. I'm cool with that. However, if part of your reality is based in false information you have created that I am not doing my job because you simply don't like me is NOT okay.
What can I do about this situation you ask? Oh, I have already tried to do several things. But here is the problem with people that don't live in everyone else's reality; they are not rational. You cannot reason with them or convince anything other than the original image in their head. Take Bush for instance; no matter how much information he got, he would never change his mind. Even if someone made the most compelling argument ever spoken, it would be ignored if it didn't align with his original thought process. Dichotomous thinking rules the little squigglies in their brain. You are either with them or against them. If it bruises their ego in any way, you can count on their dissent. You are either good or bad, rain or shine, right or wrong, black or or white.
How people got this way would be a great thing to know. Maybe we could prevent dichotomous thinking in future generations. Was it overly coddling mommies? Is it a genetic defect? Is it family that told them things like they were great singers when they sounded like a hoarse Kermit (see any American Idol try-outs). Friends that convinced them they were great leaders when they couldn't even formulate a proper sentence (parenthetical explanation not needed...).
Ah well. What can you do? Changing people is more than likely a losing battle. It definitely makes me feel better to know that these people are simply crazy and it's not to be taken personally. All you can do is take things in stride, laugh and smile...... HA! You think I actually mean that? On a more serious note, I am going to a Pilates class tonight for the first time in over a year because I think I might implode if I don't. It's either that or pulling out those large chunks of hair...
I will recognize and confirm that everyone lives in their own reality; I believe in post-modernism to an extent. However, I will also acknowledge that there are certain things that are simply true or false. For instance, "Little Johnny did slap his brother in the face" versus the alternative of "Little Johnny did NOT slap his little brother in the face." It either happened or it didn't. There is no arguing these kind of things (unless of course you are one of those special people that don't believe in Evolution which is a whole separate topic that would require a completely different blog entry). Anyhow, there is such a thing as absolute truth.
Here is an absolute truth for you: I do certain duties that are part of my job. I do what I have been instructed to do. I screw up sometimes. This is a fact. However, I do not purposely NOT do what I have been contracted to do. As a matter of fact, I have been running out of work to do because I feel like everything that I HAVE to do has been taken care of. I am bored, restless, and looking for things to do. Today I read about Nietzsche and then Greco-Roman pedastry for about an hour just because I had nothing else to do. Right now, I am writing this blog. I don't really have time to blog. Except for at work. Where I should be working.
So just a little while ago, I expressed to one of my coworkers that I was bored at work only to find out that there have been some accusations that Naomi is simply not doing her job. Accusations that I feel are not at all based in reality. If Naomi is bored out of her mind, how can she not be doing her work? If Naomi is constantly volunteering to do random things for the team, would she have an overwhelming workload? You are probably thinking; I could be doing everything except what I have to do. This is true, I could be doing this. However, considering I am already under the microscope in a big way, I am not going to purposely screw up by not doing what I need to do to retain employment/money/life/survival.
So, this brings me back to people that live in a world of their own making. This is okay. It's quite alright to live in a world where you adore peanut butter cookies, enjoy showing copious amounts of cleavage, love your pet gerbil, and are not a big fan of me. I'm cool with that. However, if part of your reality is based in false information you have created that I am not doing my job because you simply don't like me is NOT okay.
What can I do about this situation you ask? Oh, I have already tried to do several things. But here is the problem with people that don't live in everyone else's reality; they are not rational. You cannot reason with them or convince anything other than the original image in their head. Take Bush for instance; no matter how much information he got, he would never change his mind. Even if someone made the most compelling argument ever spoken, it would be ignored if it didn't align with his original thought process. Dichotomous thinking rules the little squigglies in their brain. You are either with them or against them. If it bruises their ego in any way, you can count on their dissent. You are either good or bad, rain or shine, right or wrong, black or or white.
How people got this way would be a great thing to know. Maybe we could prevent dichotomous thinking in future generations. Was it overly coddling mommies? Is it a genetic defect? Is it family that told them things like they were great singers when they sounded like a hoarse Kermit (see any American Idol try-outs). Friends that convinced them they were great leaders when they couldn't even formulate a proper sentence (parenthetical explanation not needed...).
Ah well. What can you do? Changing people is more than likely a losing battle. It definitely makes me feel better to know that these people are simply crazy and it's not to be taken personally. All you can do is take things in stride, laugh and smile...... HA! You think I actually mean that? On a more serious note, I am going to a Pilates class tonight for the first time in over a year because I think I might implode if I don't. It's either that or pulling out those large chunks of hair...
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