Hello there people out in the computer sphere. I started this blog mainly because sometimes I have some things I really wish to share with others. Other times, I feel the need to write things down and dissect them so I don't feel so crazy inside..... (it beats crawling up in fetal postion in the corner of my bathroom floor).
Lately I have been very confused about life. I know everyone says that; blah, blah blah. You know, that quarter life crisis thing that everyone and their mom seems to be going through. But, the truth is that I have been confused for a long time. I mean a VERY long time. I think that I am just in a virtual state of confusion. I have never had a clear grasp on what I want to do with my life. How are you supposed to know what you want to do if you haven't experienced it yet? I have never really been sure about relationships.... I think I like someone, then I don't. I think I like someone, then they don't like me. I think I don't like someone, then I end up liking them only until it's too late.
All this confusion often leaves me in a state of stagnant blah-ness. Very stagnant. It can be hard even wanting to relate to others. Isolating can be good at times to clear your head but everyone needs social contact and isolating for too long begins to make me socially retarded. Everyone wants to share that human bond but it can be exceedingly difficult to relate to ANYONE, even those you thought were friends, at times. It's so easy to lose your faith in human beings when people's actions don't always promote love and well being. I just wish that I could see things more clearly sometimes with slightly more accurate insight. Maybe I should be constantly tripping on mushrooms so that I could be completely certain of the "epiphanies" I was experiencing and wouldn't be so damn confused all the time. So for now, I appreciate those few friends who really are a blessing in my life. I am fully aware of the fact that I will whine and moan until the end of my time, but I really appreciate these people more than I can express. Without them, I would be in a padded room by now.
Lately I have been very confused about life. I know everyone says that; blah, blah blah. You know, that quarter life crisis thing that everyone and their mom seems to be going through. But, the truth is that I have been confused for a long time. I mean a VERY long time. I think that I am just in a virtual state of confusion. I have never had a clear grasp on what I want to do with my life. How are you supposed to know what you want to do if you haven't experienced it yet? I have never really been sure about relationships.... I think I like someone, then I don't. I think I like someone, then they don't like me. I think I don't like someone, then I end up liking them only until it's too late.
All this confusion often leaves me in a state of stagnant blah-ness. Very stagnant. It can be hard even wanting to relate to others. Isolating can be good at times to clear your head but everyone needs social contact and isolating for too long begins to make me socially retarded. Everyone wants to share that human bond but it can be exceedingly difficult to relate to ANYONE, even those you thought were friends, at times. It's so easy to lose your faith in human beings when people's actions don't always promote love and well being. I just wish that I could see things more clearly sometimes with slightly more accurate insight. Maybe I should be constantly tripping on mushrooms so that I could be completely certain of the "epiphanies" I was experiencing and wouldn't be so damn confused all the time. So for now, I appreciate those few friends who really are a blessing in my life. I am fully aware of the fact that I will whine and moan until the end of my time, but I really appreciate these people more than I can express. Without them, I would be in a padded room by now.
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