A Plan

I have to say that for the last few months, I have been a bit down in the dumps. It's not because of the one-hundredth guy that didn't work out, not because I'm broke (though that doesn't help), or any general human behavior that tends to chap my ass. It's because that notorious question kept lingering; What am I going to do with my life?

Well Ladies and Gentlemen, I finally have a plan. I have decided that I am going to start taking prerequisites to get into a speech pathology program either at PSU or U of O. I had wanted to go this route for a long time but money, time it takes to get a degree, and just not being sure what I wanted to do has held me back. I don't really know how I am going to pay for all of this but fuck it, I will figure it out. There is always hookin.' There are also loans, scholarships, financial aid (apparently a lot of it for older people like me), and if I am really, really lucky I can score an assistant-ship where my tuition will be paid for. God, that would be amazing. It might end up taking a long time for me to complete all of this but it feels really good to have direction.

It was really getting to me to feel like I was in a rut with no way out. My financial situation is crappy, can't find a new job to save my life (and finances), and every day at work is increasingly annoying. Doing social work for the rest of my life would be the equivalent of poking a fork in my eye for a living. I am really growing to despise it. ANd it bores me. "Oh look, it's another dysfunctional person that can't take care of their kids or accept advice." Same shit, different day. I love the kids, hate all the rest. And sometimes the kids are hard to love when they are throwing rocks at you (there was a recent rock throwing crisis at me in the company van while following a kid that was trying to run away).

I do have to say though; now that I know this isn't going to be my forever job, it makes it easier to do it. I am not as negative and whiny about it.

Anyhoo, this blog entry probably really isn't that interesting to you, but damn, having a plan makes the mental clouds part A LOT. Seriously.